Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
