he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
