Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
