im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it's like iHOP with fire
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
