Define "chronic" masturbator.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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