You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
