I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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