I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
