god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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