I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
