Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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