im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
