I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
