My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
