so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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