in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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