Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
