yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
