9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
