My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
