I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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