My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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