She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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