Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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