so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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