so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
