I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My vagina just clenched in fear
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
