Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There's always time for handjobs
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
