Tell her she can't have a vagina
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you had me at cake vodka
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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