OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
