oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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