I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
