so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
