There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
