what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
