I heard we made out
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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