so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
