I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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