This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
