Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
