textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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