i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so let's talk penis.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
