Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
