I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We had sex on a dog bed..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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