I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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