I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
