I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
