...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
