how do flat chested girls get laid?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
