capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
